


Evolution of Man

by stardropdream (orphan_account)



Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-02-18
Updated: 2013-02-18
Packaged: 2017-11-29 18:47:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 451
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/690250
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/stardropdream
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>England is called about a particular movie</p>
            </blockquote>





	Evolution of Man

**Author's Note:**

> Originally posted on LJ September 16, 2009.

England sat at his kitchen table, enjoying a rich cup of earl grey and preparing to chomp into a scone—and it looked rather good, if he did say so himself, he made a mental note to give some to whoever came to the house next (except France).   
  
He unfurled his newspaper and was settling in for a nice morning when the phone rang. Glancing up from the international section, England arched one thick eyebrow before reaching over and lifting the phone from its cradle.   
  
“Good morning,” he said into the phone, “This is Arthur Kirkland.”   
  
“Yes—sir—hello, good morning, um, England,” a man said on the other end of the phone. He cleared his throat and England waited patiently, turning the page in his newspaper, propping the section up against the foot crossed over his knee. “Um, that is, I’m sorry to be a bother, but…”  
  
“You aren’t, go on, then, what’s your business?” England sipped his tea.  
  
“It’s about the new film—the one about Darwin. _Creation_?”   
  
“Go on,” England urged, wondering what could possibly be the trouble, and why they saw fit to speak with the country about a movie.   
  
“Well, sir, we know you’re terribly excited for this movie and all, and we think it’ll do very well,” the man on the other end continued, “but the problem is…”  
  
“What is it?”   
  
“Well, sir, we haven’t been able to find a distributer in the United States,” the man finally said.  
  
England stopped, fingers curled around another page of his newspaper. He shifted his gaze to his phone, staring at it quizzically as if it were the phone’s faulty wiring that had caused him to hear that.  
  
“Excuse me?”   
  
“US distributers refused to pick it up. They said it was too controversial,” the man said in a rush.   
  
England’s eyebrow twitched. “That’s preposterous. They’ve showed plenty of controversial films—this is ridiculous, to say that a film about Darwin is—”  
  
“That’s just it, sir… apparently very few actually, well, believe in evolution over there,” the other man said, sounding a bit embarrassed almost. He cleared his throat again. “It’s remarkable… I hadn’t realized that the United States was so religious, even now…”   
  
England stared at the opposite wall, lips straightening into a grim line. “I suppose I hadn’t, either…”   
  
“In any case, the producers and I felt we should let you know.”  
  
“Yes, well, thank you. Is that all?” England couldn’t fathom why they’d needed to tell him, but that was that.   
  
“Yes, sir.”   
  
“Very well, then.” England shifted. “Good day.”  
  
“You too, sir.”  
  
England hung up the phone and promptly slapped a hand to his face.   
  
“Good _God_ , why did I give that idiot the _Puritans_?”

**Author's Note:**

> \- "Creation" is a new British film about Charles Darwin, it’s had relative success in screenings throughout the world… but unfortunately distrubers in the US refuse to pick it up because it’s “too controversial” and the religious right got all up in arms, saying that Darwin was the father of eugenics, etc etc. I wish I was kidding.


End file.
